Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need to calm my uterus...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
