It's like a parade of train wrecks.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
