Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
