and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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