Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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