i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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