you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
