I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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