Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
