update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
NoShamevember. You game?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
