You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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