it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He told me they were just razor bumps!
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
