There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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