Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
