Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
