i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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