Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
