Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
