Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
