Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
