life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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