Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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