Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
worst night to have a conscience
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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