It's Friday. Sex?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he wants to bone in the snuggie
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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