New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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