Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
