Whod you bang
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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