theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize