Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
