he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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