When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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