Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Porn is love you can see.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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