then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
