I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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