They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize