Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
