its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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