we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
