Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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