i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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