That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
