Why are handjobs necessary in class?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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