We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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