I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
