This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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