you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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