Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
