I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
