I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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