And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
