Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
