Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
