so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
