apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
