There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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