Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
