I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
