We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize