gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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