So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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