I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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