You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
