belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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