she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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