i permit you to call me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
