i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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