Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
