Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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