grandma shit on top of the toilet
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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