Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am midnight drunk by noon
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
