I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
