Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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